With age comes wisdom... I hope so.

Got the photo from Google.com

Six days to go. Six days to go before I turn a new page in my life. I begin to count how many years to go before my age will be not be seen in the days of a calendar (and thank goodness, I still have nine years before saying bye-bye to the calendar days) I am about to celebrate my birthday, and I think something's wrong with me. I am not excited to celebrate it and I don't know what the reason behind it. The days are fast approaching and yet I still don't have a plan how to celebrate it. Don't get me wrong... it's not that I don't want to get another year older. I absolutely love the fact I getting another year older. I also got one of the best presents ever for this year's birthday, but I don't know I feel that it will be just another day.

I happily look back on my previous birthdays: two years ago, there was a very very good surprise birthday gift from my very good friends Carmemeh and Trikzy which was totally unforgettable. And last year there was Joey's 12 midnight surprise which I absolutely loved. Ahhhh... those were the years. =)

I just hope an idea will dawn on me, and maybe hoping for a little surprise (hahaha, just kidding) =p I just want to celebrate it with the people I love, i just don't know how to celebrate it.

If you need me, you know where to find me- in my comfort zone.

Photo from Google.com

It is surprising to me how a little discussion can transform into one huge argument then conclude to a realization- one moment its about us, one moment it becomes an argument about me. You know you. You are somewhat aware of all your positive/good and negative/bad (although you're in denial about them) side. Certainly, talking about this particular negative side is nothing new to me. I know this, I am aware of it, I am not in denial about it- maybe its just I lived with it. Maybe I've just given up, and accepted that its was a part of who I am. Maybe because in my own little world I felt people would accept everything about me, but the bad thing is "Something need to change, especially if its for the better."

This particular argument is definitely a first for me. No one in my entire life pointed out this particular defect in me, you must understand that. It was easy to accept pointing this particular defect, when I'm talking to myself and taking pointers regarding attitudes or habits that I need to change but hearing it from others especially him, it was just tough. Truly, that was one of my definitions of "The truth hurts". This is one for the books, this tops the list on my feeling of insecurity- never felt so bad for myself. Pointing out how its alright to be one of the boys and being grateful for it, but the words after is what really hit me- and baby, it hit me hard- spot on. Sharing insight about it good it would be for me to dress a bit more girly and being a bit more fit and placing a bit more effort to make myself more beautiful and chic looking, to show off the world that you have a chic for a girlfriend and commenting that 90% of the time I just wear a simple shirt and jeans when we go out for a date. Well, most of the people who are close to me know me as a jeans and shirt girl. I believe that a girl or women could and can accentuate her sexiness even if she had just a simple shirt and jeans on her.

Blah blah blah.. after the long phone call arguing about how sitting pretty I was on my comfort zone, thinking so maturely (not in a good way), how opposite we are, me not wanting to explore the adventures that life offers and more defects about myself, a number of realizations came to mind and a lot of lessons learned. Maybe its time to change, and have a total make over.

Lets see, maybe this time around change is good especially its that time again- about to be a year older this month.

Let the adventure of change begin!

I miss.

Holding my hand while you drive. Wrapping your arm on my waist. Hugging me from behind. Just those rare sweet moments of ours. Those times I miss...

Tippy toes and high kicks

Realization # 2: I wish I took ballet and karate classes when I was a kid; when my mom offered too. No harm into adding these two as my talents.

Its not regret, its a realization-- nah... its regret.

Realization # 1: Now that I am in the fast paced world filled with career driven people there is one thing I just realized. If only I did better during high school through college; if only I exerted more effort. If only I wasn't that happy go lucky student who was satisfied with mediocrity and getting passing mark; if only I took a specialty in which I was passionate at and took more extra-curricular activities, then it wouldn't be hard surviving in this fast paced world.

I know one must not have regrets in life, but this is one thing I see when I look back in taking this ongoing adventure called life. One day if someone asks me or if my children ask me what was one thing in your past that you wish you could fix, this would be at the top of my list. I'm not asking to be an over-achiever student, I just want much better grades, a few recognitions here and there and not be content with just a passing grade-- that would do. I just wish I did and gave my best while I was still studying.